Quotes by Epictetus That Blew My Mind
Trying to understand what happens in our lives is not impossible if we know where to look. But it begs another question: How do I know where to look?
On my quest to find where to look, I bumped into some of Epictetus’s famous Stoic quotes, and they blew my mind. I finally found where to look for some answers.
“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” ― Epictetus
This quote seems to have come from the “positive vibes” tribe. But if you stop and think about it, it actually makes sense. How much time and energy do we spend worrying about things that are beyond our power or control?
A girl finally meets a guy that she likes.
She keeps worrying whether he will feel inferior or not with her high-flying career, whether she is good enough for him compared to his ex-girlfriend, or whether the guy she likes is worthy enough for her compared to her successful ex-boyfriend!
I used to be that girl — who hasn’t? I stopped worrying when I thought about how much time and energy the guy spent worrying about me — probably less time or even never! When I stopped worrying, I spent most of my time focusing on the present instead of what if.
A woman cannot get pregnant.
She keeps on worrying about how society sees her, whether her husband will accept her condition, or whether it was her fault that she couldn’t get pregnant (FYI, it’s not her fault).
We should spend our time and energy on important things that are under our control.
“It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters.” ― Epictetus
A girl finally meets a guy that she likes.
She should focus on being her best self and stop comparing herself with everyone else. From my personal experience, it’s worth checking how the guy grew up and his relationship with his mother if you want to find out whether the guy is worth it. Trust me, it matters!
A woman cannot get pregnant.
She should trust what the doctors say — that it’s not you; it’s how nature works. Some women can easily get pregnant, and some need medical assistance like IVF, but whichever way, there is always a 50–50 chance it will be successful or not. How about the relationship with the husband? Talking about the situation from the beginning is important so everyone can manage their expectations. And who cares about what society sees nowadays?
Those phrases started a new learning phase in my mid-forties. I wish I had found these phrases in my twenties. Oh, all the things that I could achieve! But there is always time to learn new things; who knows what I can accomplish after this!
Are you familiar with Epictetus’ concept of the “dichotomy of control”? It’s a fascinating philosophy that explores the idea that some things in life are within our control while others are not. Want to learn more about it?
Books I read so far:
The Stoic Guide to a Happy Life: 53 Brief Lessons for Living by Massimo Pigliucci
The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
Currently reading:
Selected Discourses — The Wisdom of Epictetus (The Stoic Classic)
