Applying Stoic values when I’m using social media
“Before social media, I thought I was kicking. Now, every time I open my phone, someone is telling me, “Are you kicking it today?” or “Are you living a 100% maxed out energy?” — Tom Papa (US comedian)
Social media has changed the way we see ourselves and live our lives. I grew up in the 80s when I could only compare myself with those around me. That was tough already.
Nowadays, young and old, we don’t feel happy because we see people on social media having a better life than we do. It causes insecurity and anxiety, mainly among the younger generations.
On my journey practising Stoicism, some teachings give me practical guides to minimising social media’s negative impact. Let me share with you some of them.
“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will.” ― Epictetus.
So you feel your life is not as fortunate as the people in social media. You weren’t born into a wealthy family; you were born with a curvier body, you were born with a different skin colour, etc. You feel unfortunate because of the things that are outside your control.
What’s in life that we can control? Only our mind, our will. Let’s focus on accepting ourselves and creating life according to who we are.
“How easily we love ourselves above all others, yet we put more stock in the opinions of others than in our own estimation of self…” — Marcus Aurelius.
One of my friends said she doesn’t want to post too much of herself on social media because she fears what the haters will say. A minute later, she commented negatively about some social media posts. She feared what people would do to her because of how she did to others.
The opinions of others are beyond our control. We should put less time and energy into people’s comments on social media, especially if they are strangers or people we don’t know — the same applies to commenting on social media. We don’t know those people, so we should control ourselves not to be the haters for them.
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” — Epictetus.
People who overcome social media’s power have learned not to dwell on what happens with their posts but put time and energy into how to react positively. Someone I knew closely always mentioned me with my husband’s name on social media. I’m not that fond of the patriarch concept, where a woman’s identity dissolves into her husband’s identity, so I feel uncomfortable every time she mentions me that way.
But what can I do about it? I train myself to change the way I react to it. I told myself that she was the product of her era and that the current society has moved forward. I should maintain how I want to identify myself as more equal and empowering.
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. — Marcus Aurelius
Who doesn’t have their smartphone on their bedside table? We sleep and wake up with social media. We wake up and see one of our friends is having a great wither holiday, and we feel down because we don’t have exciting things in our life.
We must remember how precious it is to live in this era where we can fulfil our basic needs and enjoy more convenience. Yes, other people are fortunate enough to gain more in life. But we are also lucky because we have just what we need.
Life is long, if you know how to use it. — Seneca
I will summarise my writing with this teaching from Seneca. We are free to choose how we live. Whether you want to spend your life pursuing what other people have, or you can start creating the life that suits you with your resources.
I have been practising Stoicism since January 2023. I would love your thoughts on applying Stoicism in this modern era.
